Of Mice and Men
The following is a word-for-word transcription of what I just heard through my wall abutting the kitchen. This happend over the course of a full 180 seconds.
Qranny: Ah! THERE’S THE MOUSE. Ethan! Quickly, grab this, I’ll chase him toward the wall.
(muffled plastic crashing)
Qranny: Shit! He’s under the shelves! Go, trap him with that! Go! Quickly! Throw the tupperware at him! Shit! Try another!
(Sounds of objects being thrown, empty bottles clanking against one-another, and the scrape of the garbage can being tossed aside)
Qranny: No! He’s making a break for stove! STOP HIM!
(More thrown objects, bump of larger obect directly against the shared wall)
Qranny: He’s back under the shelves, but he’s wedged himself in. I have the broom. Get the flashlight from the bathroom.
(12 seconds of tense silence following by the rolling of a shelving unit. I can only presume that both Qranny and Ethan are now on all fours, heads pressed flat against the ground, peering under the heavier shelving unit with the tiny LED flashlight we keep in the bathroom for emergency power outages.)
Qranny: There he is! I see him! Now, you wait on the other side; I am going to take the broom and— AHHHHH! AH! AH! AH! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! IT’S ON MY FOOT! AHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF-NO, KILL IT! ITS GETTING AWAY! NO! GRAB IT! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
For animal rights activists in the audience, no one succeeded in catching anything.
